|How and why your inner selves react when a
core belief is triggered
Latest news - The notes here which go back to around 2000 are still valid but we now have a much more up to date website devoted just to Core belief work and Core belief balancing. There you will find all these pages (updated) plus many more new articles, new worksheets and more explanations and it is being up dated every week. Go to http://core-beliefs-balance.com/
In the previous page Negative Core Beliefs - and how they control the selves and your life I explained about "core beliefs" and how almost every unbalanced or negative belief we have about ourselves seems to be connected in some way with our deepest thoughts or feelings about being:
not good enough (incompetent)
not good enough (unlovable)
defective, imperfect, bad
in danger, not safe
dont know, wrong
Within those broad belief patterns, however, are many different variations. Whatever your unbalanced beliefs are, they help to define your unique and individual core issues and these in turn control the way your inner selves react when those issues are triggered. It's often been said that whatever your most negative core belief about yourself might be, that's the one your selves will tend most to "dance around".
How your unbalanced core beliefs bind your reality
While you have powerful unbalanced negative beliefs in place, your sense of reality will be so tied up, polarised, bound and distorted that you literally cannot see the positive parts within you. Until you begin the balancing process, you will probably reject, even fight the reality if someone tries to tell you that you have a positive side. This happens so often that one of the easiest ways to identify a core belief is just to ask yourself what kind of compliment (about you) usually makes you feel most uncomfortable.
As a result, you will find it easier to collect evidence that seems to prove that your negative core beliefs are true and harder to see any evidence to the contrary! If one of your beliefs is My ideas are not worth listening to you will notice every instance where people ignore your advice (and you will be hurt by that). You may totally miss a situation where someone compliments you on a worthwhile suggestion or you may hear it but get no joy from the compliment (you may even devalue it) wondering to yourself. What is he trying to get out of me?
You will miss the truth because you are so busy trying to cope with the lie. The problem you are trying to get rid of is actually being helped to stay put.
Why is this so? Because your inner selves tend to use one fixed, automatic, repetitive polarised pattern to keep you from feeling the pain connected to a negative belief. Unfortunately, accepting a sincere compliment would also connect you to the same belief so the same automatic pattern comes in to block both positive and negative messages. To add to the problem, whatever your unique unbalanced beliefs about yourself might be, they will unconsciously attract (towards you) the kind of people whose behaviour fits in with your negative beliefs, as if you had a sign above your head inviting the very people who will trigger those beliefs to come in and do just that!
At the same time your beliefs will help you repel or distance from positive people who do not fit in with your beliefs. And this in turn, will shape many of the ways those people then react towards you! In this way, core beliefs control much of your life. They influence major life decisions including your choice of a career and marriage partner, but unfortunately in a less than positive way.
The self-fulfilling prophecy
This is aptly described as a self-fulfilling prophecy, suggesting that what you expect or predict is more likely to happen because of the things you do to prepare yourself for it. This is more likely whenever your supporting beliefs tell you it is going to happen again.
What is a "trigger" and what is "triggering"?
A trigger can be an event, a specific comment, a specific experience, an action by another person, it can be a particular sight or sound, a sudden flash of a past memory, a tone of voice. Triggers (usually or always) ignite your immediate, strong and automatic reaction or bring on feelings of extreme pain, discomfort, destabilisation, fear, confusion, disappointment or devastation. Some of your triggers have been with you all your life, many have been there since early childhood. Usually, they will set off the same reaction each time you are reminded of the original situation.
All it takes is an event (Example: being ignored) that reminds you of your childhood wounding and your core pain, hearing a familiar phrase (you are so helpless), being touched somewhere on your body, an emotion (someone elses fear or anger) hearing a piece of music, even a particular aroma (familiar perfume). Even just talking about a painful past event can trigger you.
How do you use classic voice dialogue and inner self work and classic voice dialogue to help understand your core beliefs?
For introductory explanation about Core beliefs see:
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